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Floppy Drive - Sexually Transmitted Data - Ty's Blog
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Floppy Drive – Sexually Transmitted Data

Hello, I'm a Mac, and a few years ago I had intercourse with a Windows PC. 
Here's my story. 

-517 Days Ago via iCal-
As she opened up her large and outdated floppy drive for easy insertion, I hesitated for a moment. Was I really about to insert my disk into her ancient technology? What would happen if I accidentally uploaded a virus to her software? Would she crash? Would she output corrupted code, and grow a sudden interest in demented penguins? 
Nah, my processes are just running faster than usual. Steve wouldn't program me to be a virgin mobile forever. May as well click the start button now, before the moment passes. 

-513 Days Ago via iCal-
Two days after the sexual process started to load, Windows was finally ready to begin. 
"You've downloaded all the required drivers, right? To avoid corruption?" 
"Yes, Jeeves declared my system was up-to-date with the most recent driver technology. The process which permits you to insert your disk has been completed. You shall begin." 
Insert Floppy. Insert Floppy. Loading... Loading... 
"Success! The disk has been inserted without errors, you may now proceed to upload and download your files in a timely sequence." 
"Uh-huh..." I said in awe, trying to figure out which one of my running processes thought this would be a good idea, so I can terminate it. 

"On second thought, I have a commercial to shoot. Can we do this another time, Win?" 

....

No reply? 
Oh, yup. She froze up. Wonderful. 

--
My first experience with the PC didn't go all too well.
Once the admin rebooted her, we both managed to have full-on intercourse. A few years later she had a baby, who we had named Linux. 
Yup, my relationship with Windows has improved quite a bit since then. 
She's moved in to my drive, and is using a 500 GB partition. Although her Vista phase raised quite a few problems, now that she's on her seventh stable iteration, it's been going swimmingly. 

End