Listen up, boys and girls. I’m going to teach you a little something about kitty sexuality
When a girl finds another girl sexually attractive, she’s a lesbian. When the lesbian meets another lesbian, it is customary to engage in various mating rituals, until both are satisfied with their newfound partner. They then proceed to have sexy fun times with each other in an intimate nature. This is normal.
What is not normal, is when the lesbian hates men for no reason other than the fact that your average dude has a penis. Yes, males have dicks. That’s just the way things are.
So, what do we call people who hate the other gender for an absurd reason? Anyone, anyone? Yes, that’s right; we call them sexist. And that, my friend, is where my cat comes in.
Mary, who just so happens to be a black and white cat, also happens to be highly sexist. She hates men. As in, she won’t even be in the same room as a male. For educational purposes, I’ve included a picture of this sexist asshole above.
Personally, I never knew that it was even possible for a cat to absolutely hate a human of a certain gender, nor do I know how such hatred developed. My proposed theory, is she was sexually abused by a male as a kitten, which fueled a deep fear and hatred for all things with penises. Though that’s really just a theory, it is the most commonly accepted one by the household committee of asshole cat owners united.